Crushing Your Fears: Volume 1

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Welcome to the Love Doctor’s office! This week, several people responded to our Google Form asking for advice on their love life, and the Doc is here to help. Now, it is important to note that my responses to these students problems are simply my opinions and views, and it is completely up to them on if they would like to take my advice, or do their own thing! However, remember that no matter what happens, everything will be okay because it’s just high school, and we’re just kids.

He has a girlfriend.

The first response of the week comes from a student saying, “He is dating someone,” when speaking about their crush. Now first of all, don’t feel bad about crushing on someone in a relationship; we can’t control who we fall for, and sometimes we get unlucky with it. However, you also need to know that you can’t let that crush develop into anything else since he’s in a committed relationship. It sucks, but he’s choosing to be with someone else, and you can’t change that. Although you may feel as though he would be “better off” with you, it’s simply not your decision. The best thing for you to do now is to distance yourself from him as much as possible because often the easiest way to lose feelings for someone is to try to forget you had them in the first place. Try to start up a new hobby or hang out with friends in order for you to get your mind off of him! The biggest thing to remember is that you can’t try to get any closer to a guy with a girlfriend. Good luck!

Do they like me back?

Our second response comes from a student asking on how to tell if someone likes them. There are a lot of ways to tell if someone likes you back! Some of the easiest ways are through body language, such as where they look, how they stand, how they act around you, et cetera. Don’t forget the classic: look at their shoes! When someone likes you, they will often stand facing their feet towards you, even if they are not necessarily talking to you. If you two are in a group, they may look to you after speaking or making a joke, as they are curious about you. If you see them in public, especially alone, they may make an effort to talk to you or interact with you. If they are with a group of friends, their friends may possibly push them to do so, knowing they like you. There are a lot of ways to tell if someone likes you, but it’s also important to note that sometimes, when we really like someone, we look for signs that aren’t there. Before you really go for asking them out, try and become closer friends with them and test out the waters.

I’m too shy to do anything!

Next up, a students asks for advice, as they are too shy to do anything in terms of following through with their crush. First of all, that’s okay! There is nothing wrong with being shy or nervous about a crush. It’s also important to note that although there is nothing wrong with being shy around her, there’s nothing to be scared of. The worst that can happen is that she doesn’t like you back, and while that may seem like the end of the world right now, it isn’t a big deal in the long run. Now, in terms of how to approach your crush, a great idea is to become friends first! This helps you in two ways at once: first, you become less shy around the person and get more comfortable talking to her about things. Second, she’ll also become more comfortable with you, and could develop feelings if she doesn’t have them already. Once you become closer, you’ll feel more comfortable and know when it’s a good time to tell her about your feelings and develop your relationship.

The older guy problem…

The last person I am able to help on this week’s column is a sophomore who knows of someone crushing on her. She says that a senior guy is hardcore crushing on her and she wants to reject him romantically but stay friends. One important thing to know is that you can’t change how someone else reacts to what you do or say. No matter how gently you let him down, he may not react well and may not want to stay friends. You can’t do anything to control this, so make sure your biggest priority is you. It’s also possible that they would be embarrassed and may not want to be around you.

With these possibilities kept in mind, he best way to let them know that you do not reciprocate their feelings is the most direct way you can. It’s like ripping off a Band-Aid instead of peeling it off slowly. You do not want to lead them on or make them believe that you like them back, so you should find a time when you two are alone and simply tell him the truth. Hopefully he will be mature enough to accept it gracefully and move on. If he’s not ready to be friends right now, he might be able to after a little while. Let him take some time to react and check up in a month or so. No matter how he reacts, remember you are doing the right thing, and have no obligations to make him feel any better or tell him pretty lies. You got this!

Check back in next week to read more advice on your crushes, and any other relationship advice! If you want advice, visit this link and tell me about your love life. It’s completely anonymous and you can include as much or as little information as you want. Thanks for taking a visit to the Love Doctor’s office!